What do you actually know about Aphrodisiacs?

Right, time to get this poor neglected blog back into the limelight (ish).  A while ago I published a little ebook of aphrodisiacs and here is a quiz, just for fun, based on that volume! Don’t worry if you haven’t read it, you can do that later!  Here goes ...

1.   Which nut did the writer Colette spurn because she thought that“they add weight to the breasts"?

~    Brazil nuts
~    Almonds
~    Cobnuts
~    Walnuts

2.   What do Hindus traditionally leave on the doorstep to indicates that a marriage is about to take place?

               ~    A handful of rice
               ~    A banana
               ~    A jar of honey
               ~    A coconut

3.   And which food do the Amish traditionally associate with weddings?

               ~    Carrots
               ~    Sauerkraut
               ~    Celery
               ~    Candy

4.   What did Casanova say could “restore an old love and ... ripen a young one.”?

~    Champagne

~    Cheese

~    Chocolate
~    Something else starting 

       with Ch

5.   Who wrote a rather naughty Poem called “Figs”?

     ~    Philip Larkin
     ~    Oscar Wilde
     ~    D.H. Lawrence
     ~   Allen Ginsberg

6.   Ginger derives its name from a Sanskrit word, srngaveram, meaning …

               ~    Healing root
               ~    Horn-shaped
               ~    Tickling stick
               ~    Sweet heat

7.   Who said this?

~    Benjamin Franklin
~    Mark Twain
~    Walt Whitman
~    Henry David Thoreau

8.   What is held to be the ideal length for a vanilla pod?

~    The longer the better
~    A good 6 inches
~    11cm
~    125mm

9. Which of these is NOT considered to have aphrodisiac qualities.

                ~    Baboon urine
                ~    Horny goat weed
                ~    Stinky toe
                ~    Spanish fly

10.  What fruit was known by the Aztecs as the testicle tree, in their own language of course – ahuacacuauhitl.

                ~    Granadilla
                ~    Papaya
                ~    Avocado
                ~    Soursop

11.  Which herb in Italy is known as "bacia-nicola” which means "kiss me Nicholas?

               

     ~     Oregano
     ~     Marjoram
     ~     Sage
     ~     Basil

12. Which food did the Talmud say that people, “even women”, should eat on the Sabbath, because it “promotes love and arouses desire”?

                ~     Roast Chicken
                ~     Gefilte Fish
                ~     Garlic
                ~     Locusts

Answers at end of the post.

Bone up on aphrodisiacs in time for Valentine’s Day and find some good ideas for that special dinner with ...  

~   The most 17 most convincing (at least to me) aphrodisiac foods
~   Some background on each one
~   46 recipes plus other delicious ideas of what to do with them
~   A little bit about their nutritional benefits
~   A brief mention of other, seemingly lesser, aphrodisiacs
~   One or two possibly suggestive food photos
~   Some rude comments and, of course,
~   Double entendres.

Going cheap at the moment here ...

Amazon.co.uk for kindle

Amazon.com for kindle

All other formats

~   Answers   ~

                         1.   Almonds
                         2.   Banana
                         3.   Celery
                        4.   Cheese
                        5.   D.H. Lawrence – read the poem here
                        6.   Horn shaped
                        7.   Benjamin Franklin
                       8.    6 inches
                       9.    Stinky toe – more about this here
                     10.    Avocado
                     11.     Basil
                     12.    Garlic

How did you do?  

Click to Tweet your score (remember to add it in first!)

A Gruelling Weekend on the Settee!

“The hardest thing about being a writer is convincing your wife that lying on the sofa is work.”

JOHN HUGHES

My real man has been away and this was an ideal opportunity to (no, not that) finish the next book in a series I am writing on useful key recipes without the distraction of programmes about the war, power tools and other manly noises.

Said real man calls all my writing endeavours “sitting on the settee” even when I rather sportingly sit on a hard wooden chair at the table.  He is proud of my having had a real book really published and of my other writings but he doesn’t understand how physically hard work it is.  I do – it hurts! 

So I wanted to tell you about a very handy little programme I downloaded which has helped immensely plus a cunning plan I have put into operation.

Firstly the useful programme.  I have been experiencing all sorts of eye problems recently from itching, blurring and soreness to sudden pains like a needle stabbing my eye.  Of course this worried me so I looked up “eyestrain caused by computer work” and discovered, ta da …

Their argument is that a computer screen is designed to replicate working in bright sunshine and that this is not natural for us for so many hours a day so it adjusts the brightness automatically making it warmer at night.

I downloaded f.lux, which is free incidentally, about a week ago and oh golly gosh my eyes feel better - get it here.

So now to my cunning plan.  I have not only realised, but been told over and over again, that I should get some exercise and I agree that sitting about all day, even if I am waggling my fingers a lot, is probably not enough activity.  On the other hand it is pouring with rain, I don’t drive and where we live has nothing much to look at.  Also, of course, I am busy thinking and writing.  So I have made a promise to myself and so far so good.  Every time I have to stand up, whatever the reason – I will walk up and down stairs five times and then do the exercises I am going to tell you about. 

These exercises were recommended to me a while back by a great physiotherapist when I had not one but two frozen shoulders. 

Important

I am going to try to explain these two exercises which work well for me but I recommend that you look into them further before having a go. Certainly don’t rely on what I say because I am a cheffy food writer type thing and not a doctor but I do really recommend further investigation.

Exercise 1

I think this is called a neck retraction and what I do is, standing tall and straight and looking forward I drawn my head back and bring my chin down slightly. When I do this I can feel the top of my spine stretching.  I do this ten times for a count of 10 each time just after I’ve just gone up and down the stairs as mentioned above.  My physio told me this would also help counteract a windows hump.

Exercise 2

I don’t know what this is called.  Whilst standing with my arms hanging loosely at my sides I roll my shoulders kind of backwards and downwards whilst squeezing my shoulder blades together. Then for good measure I pull my chin back as above. I do this ten times for a count of 10 too.

I do apologise for using the word “exercise” so much, I realise it can be upsetting but I'm trying to help.

Key Recipes

The book I have just uploaded to Amazon (see my previous post about how to do this) is the third in a series I am writing, each book giving one key recipe with numerous ways to use it and lots of other useful information.  The idea is that readers will be inspired by the information I give them to go on to create their own delicious meals.

This one is about soup and gives 50 recipes for soup plus others for stocks, garnishes and accoutrements and looks like this - look inside here.

One other thing …

If you’d like a free copy of my “219 Cooking Tips & Techniques you might find useful” (it’s a big sexy 77p on Amazon but you might as well have it for nothing!) pop over to Sudden Lunch! and click the link in the sidebar. There is an option to sign up for my Sudden Lunch! posts to be delivered straight to your inbox, it’s not compulsory but you might like them!  

A Blog Chain Virgin in the Virgin Islands

This post is a little different as I have been invited to take part in a Blog Chain – a first for me and quite exciting.  The basic idea is that the initiator decides on a topic, writes about it and then nominates another blogger or bloggers to do the same.  I am the last of this current chain, scroll to end of this post for earlier links.

Wendy Percival who writes contemporary mysteries inspired by genealogy and family secrets nominated me, bless her. Read about her newly published book “Blood-Tied” (which I shall be searching out as soon as I return to Cornwall) here and visit her blog about writing here where you can read her link in the chain.

These are the four questions which are the subject of this post:

1)    What am I working on?
2)    How does my work differ from others of its genre or type?
3)    Why do I write what I do?
4)    How does my writing process work?

They look quite simple but I’m not so sure, here goes.

What am I working on?

Lots of things, that’s why I’m so confused!

I have written and published four ebooks on Amazon Kindle, I enjoy doing them, the independence they give me from all the palaver involved in traditional publishing and the small pittance that I occasionally receive from Amazon. 

Details of these ebooks can be found here 

I am currently in the Caribbean where I used to live and where (very sadly for me) we are packing up our remaining belongings and selling our boat as a final break with the place.  This seems a good time to write about my experiences as a chef here so I am starting on that as an ebook.

There has been talk of publishing a sequel to my real grown up book “The Leftovers Handbook” which, despite what I said above about the publishing process, I am very proud of.  I am not sure if this second book, about cooking from the store cupboard, will go ahead but I am collecting ideas and recipes just in case.

I also have lists of ideas to pitch to magazines, things to post in my blog and lots more 
ideas for ebooks.

How does my work differ from others of its genre or type?

If it does differ then it may be because of my diverse cooking experiences not only in England and the Caribbean but also in The Canaries, France, Madeira, New Zealand (and maybe other places too that have slipped my mind!) including working on a passage making yacht and a day trip catamaran and living, cooking and eating in camper vans, caravans and living on a boat for 16 years. Also I like to think, when writing, that I am chatting to a friend so am not too formal.

Why do I write what I do?

Well one big reason is that I am so irritated with the way people eat, the lack of basic food knowledge, and the waste of perfectly enjoyable good food simply because people don’t know what to do with it.  Also I feel I have learnt so much it would be a good idea to pass it on! Oh - and I enjoy it, of course.

How does my writing process work?

I’m not sure it is organised enough to be called a process.  Once I have decided on a subject I make a “collection” of everything I might want to include from background info, quotes and anecdotes to, of course, recipes and foodie ideas.  If there is enough to make something worth reading I then sort it under various headings and start writing. Anything I am not sure of I type in red to go back to. Any information from elsewhere I type in purple so as not to plagiarise anyone. I test recipes that I am not totally sure of, take pics and go for it!  Part of the “process” involves grabbing any opportunity I can to write when my real man doesn’t have the telly on which really distracts me!

Links in the chain:

I can’t find the start of the chain (!) but here are the most recent ones:

Sandra Warren ~ Sandra Warren Writes
Debbie Nance ~ 2 Weavers 

Story Juggler

Erin Albert 

Anita Davison ~ The Disorganised Author
Samantha Tonge
Patsy Collins ~ 

Wendy Clarke ~ Wendy's Writing Now
Tracy Fells

Sally Jenkins

Debbie Young

Wendy Percival

Me!!!

Boost your Libido!

Just a quickie because "unfortunately" I am in the Caribbean (my home for many years) where there is limited internet access but unlimited sun, rum and good friends.

Ever since I started writing my father in law (who passed on 18 months ago … but see here for a picture of him in his magnificent youth!) said that I shouldn't waste my time writing about food, I should write about sex as that it what sells.

I have very slightly taken his advice and written a short ebook on aphrodisiacs …

Just 94p ~ please click here to at least have a look inside.

I did a fair bit of research (or “sitting on the settee” as my real man calls it) to come up with what seem to be the 17 most-likely-to-be-aphrodisiac foods and then given some background on each one, some ideas of what to do with them plus a recipe or two and a little bit about their nutritional benefits as they relate to the libido. 

Naturally I have also included a few rather suggestive food photos (sadly I couldn't muster one for all 17 foods), some rude comments and some double entendres.

Easy Festive Food

… for a Relaxing Christmas

I’ve just published this eBooklet on Amazon.  As I say in the intro, Christmas catering can be time consuming, tiring and a bit stressy, so I thought I’d offer some suggestions to make it quicker, easier, more relaxed and perhaps more impressive! This eBooklet contains a collection of quick ideas and recipesI have used over the years to impress guests and customers without knackering myself!

The booklet contains over 20 (it’s 24 actually but it seems people always say over something!) recipes which can either be made well in advance or are almost instant.  They are …

~   Mulled Wine Syrup – really useful!

~   Moose Milk

~   Simple Cook from Frozen Cheese Straws

~   Lemon & Spice Marinated Shrimp

~   Smoked Trout Rillettes

~   The Quickest, Easiest, Smoothest and Richest Chicken Liver Pâté I know

~   Roasted Garlic with a Creamy Goat Cheese Concoction

~   Fruity Red Cabbage

~   Carrot & Parsnip Purée
~   Roast Butternut Wedges

~   Luxurious Bread Sauce

~   Simple Homemade Stuffing Recipe

~   Chunky Homemade Cranberry Sauce

~   Rather Special Mulled Cranberry Sauce

~   Little Pots of Chocky Ganache 

~   Caramel Cream

~   Affogato

~   Stock with a bonus!

~   Turkey Soup – inevitably!
~   Brandy Butter

~   Christmas Pud Pudding

~   The Best Christmas Pudding Ice Cream

~   Sticky Stollen Thing

~   Christmas Tiffin

In addition are guidelines for the turkey, roast potatoes etc. and lots of ideas and suggestions that don’t quite qualify as recipes but are worth knowing.

The book is sub-divided into two sections; food for the “Big Dinner” and “Boxing Day and Thereafter” (ie. what to do with the leftovers; my favourite ingredients.)

It’s only 75p and you can have a Look Inside first here.

Yule be glad you read it!

Amazon Ranking

Thanks in part to a great review of The Leftovers Handbook by The Frugal Queen my sales have improved dramatically over the last few days.  I check once or twice (or eighteen or thirty five times) a day to see how it is doing and sometimes it makes me grin.  This, for instance …

Me, Suzy Bowler, ahead of Delia!  Not really of course; it’s due to how the books have been categorised.  The Leftovers Handbook is under Books > Food & Drink > Reference & Gastronomy > Gastronomy.   Actually it has been as high as number 4 in this category and is at 8 today but looks so much more impressive with Delia beside it don’t you think?

It does mean, however, that I can rightfully claim to have been in the Top 100 Gastronomy books for quite a few days now!

It was recently brought home to me how important categorisation is after my lovely agent Jen Christie managed to get the Kindle version of The Leftovers Handbook re-categorised under Gastronomy and sales rank improved considerably – something to bear very much in mind when self-publishing on Amazon.

This isn't cheating at all; it’s making life easier for possible purchasers to find the information they are looking for which will, naturally, boost sales.  This is why my book features nowhere under Books > Food & Drink > Food Writers > Delia Smith! 

In other news

In case you are wondering about how our BT Fiasco is going – the matter is now in the hands of The Chairman’s office who were sadly confused and in fact placed a new order on our behalf which we didn’t want.  They did cancel it quite efficiently after I pointed the error out and I think started to understand that at the moment all we want is the reinstatement of our old number.  (Yes, we will need more work later but that can take place months from now after we have rallied a bit!)   

We don’t have our number back yet; it’s been something like 10 days since the Chairman’s office took the case over and I would have thought returning our original number, which is not in use by anyone else, would be a piece of you know what.  They’ve managed to change it twice without too much trouble, or our consent!

I never realised how important Twitter etc. are!

I first started using Facebook when a friend of mine got married in Perth, Australia and posted her wedding pics on FB (hello Telly Tubby x) and since then it has been a very useful way to keep in touch with far away friends that we miss in the Caribbean .

When Twitter first started at first it sounded a bit silly to me and you know it, or some of the Tweople who use it, are Very Silly Indeed or worse.  Nevertheless I joined up, started tweeting and have a little over 1,000 followers.  Sometimes it is quite fun and sometimes useful and informative. 

I find Pinterest a great way to store photos, both mine and other people's, in the cloud - a kind of online scrapbook and also a way to publicise my work. My book "The Leftovers Handbook", the publishers felt, is so full of information there is no room for photos so I put them on Pinterest just in case anyone is interested.

Stumble upon can be a great timewaster and I used to get stuck on it for hours, in fact one day a very spooky thing happened to me on Stumble Upon see here LINK

Blogging has become a regular and enjoyable habit for me and I am trying to keep it going during this troublesome time

I did not realise, however, until my recent (and continuing)BT Fiasco quite how useful a marketing tool networking is.

Since publication sales of my book The Leftovers Handbook have generally hovered in Amazon's rank at about 30,000 (the lower the number the better the sales) give or take a few thousand until BT disconnected our phone line.  See how sales immediately dropped soon after I stopped networking and then how they shot up again after I spent a day online at my friend's house.

I thought this might just be a fluke but it happened again the following week rather more spectacularly ...

... and I fully expect the same thing to happen in the next few days (fingers etc. crossed).

Of course when I am fully operational I don't just promote my own books and blogs I comment on other people's thoughts and ideas, make suggestions, joke, retweet things I find interesting, have conversations and generally post things I think funny haha or funny peculiar.  This is all very well but sometimes I've been doing it for hours and have to remind myself to get on with "important" things and stop playing!

Hopefully I shall be back online on or around or just after the weekend, perhaps, and can get back to my tweeting and in the meantime here is a bit of heartfelt networking I saw from the bus recently ...

No. 1 Best Seller?

This is a question that I have often pondered even before the days of ebooks, Amazon and self publishing.  Often I would see books advertised at "The No. 1 Bestseller" even though I who read avidly and spent far too long in bookshops and libraries had never heard of it.  How, I pondered, was best seller status established?

Now, with a couple of ebooks and a "real" book published this question is no longer purely academic for me - what does No. 1 Bestseller mean?  Does anyone know?  In reading and talking to people in the publishing and self publishing industry I understand that choosing one's category is a good way to reach the top of certain piles.  Incidentally and oddly the categories my books are actually listed under on Amazon are not quite what I selected but close enough. 

A couple of days ago my ice cream book was rated on Amazon thus ... 

#1 in Kindle Store > Books > Nonfiction > Food & Drink > Cooking by Ingredient > Cheese & Dairy

#38 in Kindle Store > Books > Nonfiction > Food & Drink > Desserts

#69 in Books > Food & Drink > Meals & Menus > Cheese & Dairy

And what I want to know is - in accordance with the first line above can I now advertise it as a best seller?  It would feel a bit cheeky but if that's way things are done I don't want to miss out!  What do you think?

In other news ...

Here's a picture of Rum Roasted Banana Ice Cream from the aforementioned book ...

... and rumour has it that my real book, "The Leftovers Handbook" has been favourably mentioned in Great British Food Magazine, if I find it I'll report back. 

I've just realised, I don't think the recipe for the crispy bananas in this picture is in Lush Ice Cream without a Machine but no worries - here it is.

Banana Brittle

30g butter

½ tbsp vegetable oil

3 tbsp caster sugar

1 possibly leftover banana

~   Preheat the oven to 350ºF/180ºC/160°C fan/gas 4.

~   Melt together the butter and oil and brush evenly onto a baking tray.

~   Sprinkle with half of the sugar.

~   Thinly slice the banana and arrange on the tray in a single layer.

~   Sprinkle with the rest of the sugar.

~   Pop in the oven and keep an eye on them.  Every time a slice is golden and looks crisp (it won't actually be crisp till it cools) remove it from the oven and set aside.

~   Keep cooking till the plate is full and the tray is empty which takes about half an hour.

~   Cool the brittle till crisp - it will keep in an airtight container for up to 5 days but you will probably have eaten it by then.

My Neverending List!

I have always been prone to list making, I even enjoy it - especially the crossing off bit when a thing is done. I like that bit so much that if I do something not on the list I add it and then cross it off.  Sad or what!

Now, with my "writing career" "taking off" I have so many things to do I have a running list which despite all my delicious crossing off never seems to get any shorter.  I use iDailyDiary a very simple and free program which means I can copy and paste my unaccomplished tasks to the next day.

 

I do highlight urgent stuff in red and that usually gets done but some things just get transferred over and over again and then when I do look down the list I can no longer remember what I was talking about, eg.

·         "Twang it into a tree" - this is a little catch phrase we use at home but why did I add it to my list?  Twang what?

·         "Wombles - I mean it this time" (I did eventually remember what this was and wrote this blog post as a result but I'm still not sure why I put "I mean it this time"!)  

·         "Laupahoehoe Position" - after some stroky chin pondering this too resulted in a blog post. 

·         "Senegalese" - no idea.

Click here!

For a while I have had "Update Lush Description" in red on the list, waiting to be accomplished and yesterday I got round to it.  This is as a direct result of reading an excellent little eBook on my Kindle; "Unlimited Books Sales Machine" which makes some really good points and from which I realised that I could probably do better than just repeating the start of the book when describing my "Lush Ice Cream without a Machine" on Amazon, it does after all have a Look Inside option.  Have a look and see what you think of the new improved description here. 

Whilst I was making changes and also, as the sun was out (note the past tense!) I decided to do a Summer Special and reduced the price by 12%!  I put at the end of the description "get it whilst the sun's out!" which I wrote in a burst of enthusiasm but there's nothing like being prepared and anyway ice cream is good at any time.  Here's one I made earlier ...

Maple Syrup Ice Cream with Sugared Walnuts